Review: Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer

Lende, Heather. Find the good: Unexpected life lessons from a small-town obituary writer. Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2015. 

A positive, upbeat, delightful read.  Heather lives with her family in isolated and remote Haines, Alaska. Haines has a population of two thousand.  Heather has for years served as the obituary writer for the local newspaper. 

In this book we learn of her special way of interacting with the family of the deceased and what she hopes to convey through the written remembrances of community members.  In a town of two thousand, she may not know everyone personally, but chances are that she has met them or their family and friends at some point.  There are not many degrees of separation in a town of that size.  If nothing else, she probably has heard of them. Whether the stories or information she has heard is accurate in entirely different matter altogether, but there is a closeness in a small town that is not possible in larger cities. 

Whenever possible she calls the family and then visits them in person at their home.  She asks questions, she listens, and she takes notes. She adds a personal touch to the obituary that is sadly lacking in so many written memorials. 

The first part of the title is her prevailing bit of wisdom that she tries to live by: find the good. When she meets with family and friends to gather information about the deceased, she listens for the good that can be lifted up and for the good ways in which the deceased has impacted others.  It is so easy to dwell upon the negative.  When a person is being remembered in print, look for the good and celebrate that. 

The second part of the title is another part of what makes this book such a delight to read.  As life happens to us and around us, there are indeed all manner of lessons to be learned.  And these lessons come from unexpected situations and people.  Heather has the storyteller’s ear for picking up the interesting, unexpected, and profound amid the routine of living.   

So we meet Russ who left his cabin and a few odds and ends to the Hospice Board in his will. Through that generous act, Heather, who sits on the Hospice Board, helped to clean out Russ’ cabin and discovered all the greeting cards (including Thanksgiving) that were sent to him from family.  Russ kept to himself.  Who knew he had family?  A little investigating brought Heather into a phone conversation with Russ’ brother.  Russ had not been in touch with his family for 30 years because he lived as a hobo until he settled down in Haines. While in Haines, he reconnected with his family. They came to visit, and he got to meet the next generation coming up.  This time, they stayed in touch until his passing.

We also meet Clyde Bell, the owner of the seafood store on main street.  He often had recommendations about what Heather ought to be investigating and writing about.  Clyde was a conspiracy theorist.  He was also quite a character. But, after his death, she learned a lot more about him and his impact on the community.  The memorial for him was in the largest building in Haines and there were still people listening from outside. He helped and positively impacted so many people. And, at the same time, he was convinced that hardly anyone besides his wife would be at his funeral. 

It's these kind of stories and what she learns from the people in them that makes this an engaging read.  You will laugh. You will blink back tears. You will occasionally wince. And, when you are done, you will feel like you have visited Haines and might like to come back again.